Welwyn Garden City Nigel’s Nutty dream

A RUGBY player fed up with local politics is living up to his ‘Nutty Nigel’ nickname by taking the first steps to joining the Official Monster Raving Loony party.

Nutty Farquha Perigrine Parker – or Nigel Parker as he is known to chums at Welwyn Rugby Club – is looking to stand as a candidate for the constituency at the upcoming General Election.

He told the WHT he was inspired to act after reading our front page last week, about borough council plans to charge disabled people for parking.

Nigel, of Pippens, WGC, said: “I am done with politicians. To me it seems the saying ‘the same cup of tea but with a different spoon’ applies.

“People are often too scared to say what they think, but I am prepared to.”

He said he plans to wear fancy dress when giving speeches and his manifesto pledges – which should be taken with a huge pinch of salt – include:

? Incinerators for every person: Instead of one big one, every household to have a dustbin incinerator.

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? Schools: Give power back to teachers allow discipline to be restored, compulsory school dinners with no packed lunches, all pupils to play competitive team games.

? Law and order: No ASBOs, public stocks and hard labour to be reinstated.

? Employment: Twelve months dole then community work.

? Pensioners: Proper funding for the old and skateboards to improve mobility.

? Environment: Petrol at �1 a gallon to speed up global warming so we don’t need to go abroad to get the sun.

? Immigration: No new migrants, no asylum seekers unless from a neighbouring country, all those who have not integrated within two years to be moved to Scotland.

? MPs: Wages of maximum �25,000, no expenses and they have to work 48 weeks a year.

? Submarine base to be built at Stanborough to create employment.

For Nigel to become a candidate in Welwyn Hatfield, he will have to be nominated by 10 electors, including a proposer and a seconder.

He must also pay a �500 deposit, which will be forfeited if he fails to gain at least five per cent of votes cast.

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