A couple from Welwyn Garden City have launched a fundraiser after the loss of their "beautiful baby daughter".
Jade Saunders-Meek and her husband Kriston have raised more than £4,000 to help pay for a memorial tree in the honour of their daughter Oaklea-Ayres, "to help give her the send off she deserves".
On Wednesday, May 13, Jade Saunders-Meek, who was eight months pregnant, attended what she believed would be a routine midwife appointment on her own.
During the checks, her midwife discovered that her baby's heart rate was low and she was rushed by ambulance to Lister Hospital in Stevenage for emergency care.
“What was meant to be a regular check-up became an emergency and the worst day of my life,” Jade recalls.
The couple said that paramedics and their midwife did everything they could to prepare her for what was to come, but their daughter sadly died before they arrived at the hospital.
At the hospital, Jade shared she had to carry her daughter for another two days before giving birth.
She described the experience as “unbelievable and unbearable,” but said there was still something precious about finally meeting her baby.
“I remember the last few contractions. I knew she wasn’t going to be with us but I was still excited to see her face and it was still a special and magical feeling.”
Kriston dropped everything to get to his wife and remembers being overwhelmed by “anxiety” and helplessness.
“As a man I have so much guilt that I could not do anything,” he said.
“All of a sudden I didn’t know what to do and was just watching and supporting Jade through it all.
"My biggest thing was we didn’t hear a sound when she was born, it was a silent room, I was holding a silent baby in my hands.”
The couple were able to spend three days and three nights with Oaklea-Ayres in a special bereavement room at the hospital.
They say they were given as much time with her as they wanted and staff arranged mourning blessings, took handprints, footprints and a lock of her hair as keepsakes for the family to have.
Jade and Kriston's four other children were given special teddy bears to remember their sister.
“The care was outstanding,” the couple said, adding that staff went “above and beyond” to help them and support them with organising the funeral.
“The things they did for us, it means everything, not everywhere has these options,” Jade said.
At home, the reality of their loss has been hard to carry.
"You can see the trauma in each other’s faces. You carry it and no one around you is aware of it,” Jade said.
The couple described going home as "a nightmare" and explained it as "everything you once thought was important is not anymore.”
“One minute we were planning her future and the next minute I was planning the funeral,” Kriston added.
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Oaklea-Ayres’ funeral will take place on June 9 at a crematorium in Knebworth, almost four weeks after the family were told her heart had stopped.
The couple have set up a GoFundMe page to help cover the cost of the funeral and a memorial tree at the crematorium, which they hope for it to be a “a symbol of peace” and “a living tribute” to their daughter.
For Jade and Kriston, the memorial tree is also about making sure their daughter is not alone in the future.
“In our will, we will ask to be buried with her and it is so important for us that she isn’t alone. "
"Though her time here was short, her memory will continue to grow.” they explained.
The couple wish to thank their surgeon and midwives for their “exceptional care, kindness and going above and beyond” to support them through the challenging time.
To find out more information about the fundraiser, you can visit: https://www.gofundme.com/f/oakleaayres-saundersmeek
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